Tomorrow Nintendo will be hosting another long awaited Nintendo Direct. This direct is all but guaranteed to show off at least one DLC fighter for Super Smash Bros Ultimate. So what better way to celebrate than talking about characters who we know will never get in Smash but we really want anyway.
Yes that’s right, we’re talking about the outliers of gaming discussion: side characters. Characters who will never see the light of day in Super Smash Bros even if they made a hundred DLC passes, but these characters are dear to our hearts and we want to talk about them.
For those of you already commenting about how this lists sucks because there’s no Waluigi please keep in mind that none of us are even entertaining the idea of these characters getting in Smash, this is all just dumb fun to pass the time before E3 and talk about Smash with fans.
With all that said let’s get into things. Five of us at The Story Arc have picked one side character to talk about and first on the bracket we have me, Skeith
Skeith’s pick: Azami Mochizuki
Azami Mochizuki is the greatest character of all time and I will not accept any arguments to the contrary. Will she ever get in Smash? Heck no, not in a million years, but I like to dream okay?
Azami is from the critically acclaimed Sega franchise Sakura Wars. If you haven’t played a Sakura Wars game then you’re doing yourself a disservice. Look into the series and play at least one of the games.
Could Sakura Wars, a series that has predominantly been on Sega consoles, be in Smash? Well there were in fact several games in the series that got released on Nintendo hardware including two spinoffs that were Gameboy exclusive and a rougelike on the Nintendo DS. No one I know has played these spinoffs to completion but they sure do exist
As for hypothetical representation in Super Smash Brothers she could fill a niche that currently only Greninja fills, a ninja. Ninja are cool, okay? She wouldn’t be a clone of Greninja either, ninja are a very varied style of character. I picture Azami in Smash as having her B attacks centered around relatively weak projectiles like kunai and smoke bombs with her A attacks being strong punches in reference to her mech from the games only fighting with punches.
For her Final Smash I’ve imagined two alternative scenarios. They could go with her special move from the most recent Sakura Wars where she makes a large amount of shadow clones of herself and runs at the enemy. I however would instead choose for her Final Smash to be summoning the giant frog and snake her grandfather used to attack Mr. I
I hope one day a Sakura Wars rep can get into Smash Bros even if it isn’t Azami. I would scream for years if we got a stage that was the iconic Great Imperial Theater blasting remixes of iconic songs like Geki Teikoku Kakigeden.
Naa’s pick: Margaret Moonlight (No More Heroes 2)
Now, I know what you’re thinking; “Margaret? That one off boss from No More Heroes 2? Why not Travis?” and to that I say, yes, Travis is probably a better and more likely pick. However, I don’t care about who’s the best and who would satisfy the most people. I’m picking what I think is cool, and if ‘dual gunscythe-wielding idol assassin who kills you by singing a song about how awful you are’ isn’t the coolest thing ever… well, I don’t know what to tell you.
Admittedly, I don’t really consider myself knowledgeable enough on the intricacies of Super Smash Bros gameplay to really come up with much of a moveset, but I think there absolutely is potential. She would also come with the addition of music from No More Heroes which is always nice. Maybe even stuff from the wider Kill the Past series?
I don’t have much more argument than that, but I think she’s neat and would love to see her in Smash. (buuuut I’d also be fine with Travis… just saying…)
Vic’s Pick: Imakuni?’s Trick
Tomoaki Imakuni is a Japanese musician and comedian that has had close ties to the Pokemon franchise ever since it’s initial inception. His input is largely found in the trading card game (and we know how much that’s blowing up right now) where he drew various artworks for pokemon that have his, uh, je ne sais quoi to them.
This card is bizarre too. The back, and ONLY the back is holographic
His art tends to pop up in random places in the pokemon tcg, but he never seems to have stopped producing art for the series. He even had a special cameo appearance in the Pokemon Trading Card game on Gameboy. There, he was a secret boss players could face him using their decks, eventually gaining a promo of their own to commemorate their victory. You know what this, dear reader, means?
He has appeared first in a video game, thereby fulfilling the criteria for smash.
Imakuni could function similarly to Yugi in Jump Force, turning a trading card game character into a proper fighter. By playing Pokemon cards, Trainers cards and having a unique system where he charges up energy cards (similar to Inkling), his playstyle would be incredibly varied every round (as the deck would shuffle). He would be a ranged fighter with a heavy emphasis on traps (think a lighter Snake with smashes that don’t hit as hard, though the pay off from setting up your “board” would be huge) This chimaera character of Snake, Inkling, Villager, and Hero with the inherent insanity of Wii Fit Trainer would make for an incredibly fitting addition to the Smash Bros roster. I know Pokemon fans, insatiable as they are, were clamoring for a new Pokemon rep too. This would probably be the way they least expect it (though in my opinion the funniest and most exciting).
Burners Pick: Tomoe Gozen (Fate/Grand Order)
HOOOOOOOOOO YALL WANT IMPOSSIBLE!? I’LL GIVE YOU IMPOSSIBLE!!!! There is no other character I want in smash more than Tomoe! “Is she a popular character in the game she’s from?” WHO CARES! “But she’ll just be another anime sword fighter” SHUT UP! Look there’s no point in unnecessary questions! Tomoe is the waifu for laifu and I want her in, end of the story.
“HOW WOULD SHE EVEN PLAY!!!???” the confused masses cry.
Well she’d definitely have a lot of mechanics from FGO brought over to her smash kit. If I had to list a moveset itd go something like this:
Special Mechanics:
Command cards:
Performing successful successive attacks will create a command card chain; the card types will be determined by the type of attacks used. Neutral attacks will add quick cards to the command card chain, tilt attacks add arts cards to the chain, and smash attacks add buster cards to the chain. When a set of 3 alike cards enter the chain a minor effect will be applied based on the type of chain, Buster increases the launch power of the next attack, arts increases np gauge by 10 percent, and quick gains 10 crit stars.
Critical stars:
Crit stars build by successfully creating quick card chains or countering using her knowledge of combat, at 50 stars Tomoe activates her skills lineage excitation and demonic nature of oni. This changes her weight to heavy and givers her a 20% damage buff for 10 seconds respectively
Noble Phantasm gauge:
When Tomoe attacks or creates an arts command card chain she will gain NP gauge, when the gauge reaches 100% she can unleash a weakened version of her final smash Oṃ Arolik Svāhā: Mantra – Aryāvalokiteśvara Bodhisattva (like the one she uses before you find out her true name in shimosa!)
Knowledge of combat:
Using her knowledge of combat Tomoe can counter any incoming melee attack and generate 5 crit stars for herself.
These abilities are more or less the core of her kit and her playstyle would revolve around trying to pull off combos and figuring out which card chains to prioritize in order to unleash her full strength, which honestly would be pretty damn fun I think.
“BUT ISN’T THIS BROKEN?!” Dude who cares she’s not even gonna make it in, now go on and switch to the next part already, You’re interrupting my Tomoe Simping time!
Luke’s Pick: Jetstream Sam (Samuel Rodrigues)
Sam Rodrigues isn’t your run-of-the-mill swordfighter. Despite being a ruthless mercenary, he’s a killing machine with honor and a code. Even with very limited cybernetic enhancements (when compared to his peers and adversaries in Revengeance), Sam possesses a great deal of strength, speed, and durability that makes him a powerful opponent that can’t be underestimated. Even when disarmed, Sam displays a great amount of power using just his fists.
Sam carries a stance and fighting style akin to a samurai, an aesthetic that hasn’t ever really been explored in Smash Bros up to this point. His high-frequency Murasama blade is an immensely powerful tool that nearly beat out Raiden’s own trustworthy weapon. Plus Sam has a rocket-powered sheathe, allowing him to pull out his sword with immense speed and strength coupled with his own already-sublime iaido techniques. I think all these tools could be utilized to create a really dynamic and unique addition to the oversaturated “swordfighter” character-type.
Now, if I had to choose, I think Raiden would make more sense as a fighter given his fast-paced, combo-centric gameplay… but the impeccable Playstation All-Stars already got him, so Sam is a close second, if only barely, with him being my favorite side character in Revengeance. Sam’s isn’t even in my Top 5 most wanted characters, but as a big fan of Revengeance, all I can do is dream.
Closer
Skeith here to say goodbye. Like I said at the start, this article is pretty much one big joke. None of us expect any of these characters to be in Smash and this is all one big opportunity to talk about the characters we love. However, if Azami were to get in Smash I would be the happiest person on the planet.
We at Story Arc previously made another half-joke article about the Smash DLC check it out here
Also check out our most recent article, a review of Resident Evil 8
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